Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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