I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just google imaged poop.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
