I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
