I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
