Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
