like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
