Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
