How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
