Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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