You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
