Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
