saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
