The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
