Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
