I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
