dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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