I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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