You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
