Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize