I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
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