I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
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