Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
