Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
