thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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