Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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