It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
