i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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