margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize