no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
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I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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