what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
You ever have a fart follow you around?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
