Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
