Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
