So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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