idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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