I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
