So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
