you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I want a musical about memes.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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