I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
