I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
