i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
