Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
