my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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