hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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