Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
