No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
