I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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