Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
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Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
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If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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