"it" just moved
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
