just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
