we have pet lesbian snakes
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
