It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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