Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
