'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
