I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize