Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize