soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
