I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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