you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
