He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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