it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
