you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
