It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
