PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
