So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
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I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
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We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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