Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
