It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
