she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
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I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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