didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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