How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you had me at cake vodka
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
