he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize