How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize