I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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