no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
