Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
